I struggle a lot with expressing how I really feel about things. I don’t like putting too much of myself out there or “complaining,” all out of fear of anything coming back to hinder me in the future. Regardless, something on the inside cries out for an outlet. I’ve had many blogs before and even kept a couple of journals, but sometimes these thoughts and feelings emerge when those tools are not in reach. My tumblr has grown to be something that I take very seriously and is sort of a resting spot for all of my work. I’ve been told that I should give people more of who I am and, to me, I am my work. My thoughts lead to the many ideas that I present, so it’s all me. I’ve come to the conclusion that life’s too short to filter myself.
It’s 2:00 in the morning and I’m 4 hours away in my mom’s hometown visiting family. Everyone’s sound asleep and my mind just won’t let me rest. There’s so much to achieve, so much to say and so much to dream about. There’s something about the night time that makes me feel so connected to everything. Everything starts to make sense after 11. I always feel so fulfilled. Although I don’t generally celebrate Thanksgiving, it really feels good to be around family. I don’t come here often, but I feel I should. I want to say that it’s pretty run-of-the-mill here, but I’d be lying. Everything is slow and kinda stagnant, but I see it as a place to come and “clear my mind” for a bit. Being here provokes a lot of thought and emotion and I kind of like that every now and then. Life’s great and I can’t complain.
It’s all a process and I’m progressing.